BREAKING NEWS: Britney's Mental Problems Not Helped by Drugs or Alcohol

"She has mental problems, and they are not helped by her taking drugs and alcohol."

- ex-bodyguard, Tony Barretto from a story in US Weekly

This is just too ANNA NICOLE for me to even get a chuckle...

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Courtney Love Might Make Sense

Courtney Love, darling of the incomprehensible jet setting party crowd, is actually making some sense. She's weighing in on, of ALL things, Owen Wilson's recent (and extremely sad!) suicide attempt and hospitalization. According to this, Courtney is blaming everything on some dude (Steve Coogan) she used to sleep and do drugs with. Seriously, if Courtney LOVE is calling you a druggie, then you are probably capable of turning Hello Kitty to drink and drug. (I personally blame the Pussycat Dolls. They are ruining EVERYTHING.)

I really hope Owen is able to bask in the sunshine of being alive once again- for The Royal Tenenbaums alone I am deeply indebted!

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The Party's Over, Say Goodbye

After all this recent crazy out of control foolishness, Lindsay's gonna REALLY forREALforREAL on the real real real real REAL REAL REAL real real real go to rehab...

In AZKABAN!

Now she and Al Gore can't do that thing they were gonna do.

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BREAKING NEWS- Cedric Spends Sad-urday with Morrissey on the Redneck Riviera

Ka-POW!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Heroes Stole (5 fucking hours of) My Monday!!!!

Gaddamm nbc.com and their limitedly interrupted online programming!!!!!! It has rendered my blogging abilities useless! For I cannot bear to sit in front of this computer for one more s

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