Old People vs. Skinny Bitches. Who Wins??!??

Who the hell do you think?

Fresh on the Heels of Paris being released due to “illness (crabs),” I am proud to report that I had the great fortune last night to witness her best friend NeeeCole Richie on the David Letterman Show receiving a large, tight, five-fingered-fist up her as from the tired, old talk show host himself. Here at le Pipe we love us some NeeeCole, but Letterman does an excellent job “probing” the socialite for all the deets of her own impending, possible incarnation. If you look hard enough you can see her bones blush!

AND.....

Last month, fellow rehab junkie Lindsay Lohan met the same fate on the Martha Stewart Show. However L-Ho’s appearance was made worse by the fact that, A.) Martha is Martha and B.) She waited until they were tit-deep in making cream puffs to lodge her fist deep in the young one’s rectum. For the most part, Martha focuses on the confection at hand, periodically she reminds Lindsay of the fact that yes, her shit does stink. REALLY REALLY BAD!



G-d Bless Old People!

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An Echo, A Stain

Someone (who is even tackier than we are) is selling Paris's prison issue jumpsuit on eBay!

Heaven preserve us. Whoever is selling it probably knows that you can't sell stained shit to consignment. (Flavor of Love: Charm School, hello?) Thanks g-ds for eBay!

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GREAT MOMENTS IN GAY HISTORY PT I

So I never watched the first season of American Inventor on ABC (Walt Disney turns in his grave). But I caught this year's season premier and was lucky enough to witness a GREAT MOMENT IN GAY HISTORY. This dude named Richard Kopelle came on last year’s auditions with his invention My Therapy Buddy. His revolutionary, talking, self-affirming plush toy was immediately rejected by the judges and scoffed at by the world.

However this year HE CAME BACK (Imagine that! On a reality show nonetheless!). This time, Therapy Buddy (established to be a male) came with a male therapy "partner" and therapy child. And due to either gay sympathy or the new set of judges (Including George Foreman, who would have put a talking tampon through) he was allowed passage to the next round. Watch the clip below (pardon the sub-titiles) from his appearance last year and let it remind you that anything ladies and gentiles is indeed possible. And that GAYS AND DYKES CAN INVENT!

Pardon me now, I must get back to developing my sassy fag-hag/keg tap/hair washer and dryer.

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Visions!

Paris Hilton has finally been locked up for being a ho!

Just like Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose on the episode of the Golden Girls where they end up in jail because they're mistaken for prostitutes at a cheap hotel and they miss their chance to meet Mr. Burt Reynolds.

Except this time- there's no mistake!

I'm starting to get signals, they're gettin stronger.... Ah, yes, the visions... they are coming to me!

I see books, books with reeeeally big words.

Paris will be getting a law degree from a correspondence school...

I see the our Lord, Lord Jesus: the vision is beau-ti-ful!

She will be doing many, many pencil drawings of Jesus...

This one is unmistakable! I can see it clear as a dew drop on a Scottish thistle!

LAUGHTER YOGA!

Wooo, I'm exhausted. Being psychic is verrrrry draining. You would certainly already know this if you caught last week's awesome episode of Wife Swap!

Sheree Silver, exhausted psychic

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