If I Were a Personal Shopper...

Ok, so I know Britney, like totally has it all- swimming pool, collection of "fancy" wigs, I could go on. But I went ahead and compiled a list of gifts for Brit Brit Spears and her poor accident-prone muggle children in case she ever requires my renowned personal shopping services. Plus, I don't think anyone is letting girlfriend near the gifting suites these days!

Two of these,

This for the baby who is probably as strung out as Brit Brit is, (also good for hurling at the paps!)

For the ce-ment pond, one of these,

One diaper cake, delivered weekly, cause BRIT BRIT LOVES CAKE,

And to celebrate the blessing that is divorce, a bottle of Tussin and this,

One of these, for whenever!

Maybe we'll send a copy of this to Lynn too,

And, Brit Brit, I put this on your gift list cause really, it's time to take care of you.

BTW...

Where are Ellen's gifts now? Is Kevin keeping his white-tee collection in the fancy pram? Is B.B. pushing it around Malibu, filling it with empty yogurt containers she picks out of trash cans? In any case, I bet Ellen wishes she had just given them some informational brochures about birf control and a pack of onesies...