Who Keeps Greenlighting These Shitty Re-Makes????

Is it Al Qaeda? Or Karl Rove? Could it be Michael Douglas? Cher?

Seriously, whoever is responsible must be stopped. It could be that Catherine Zeta McPhee Jones's shiny shiny hair is workin my nerves more than usual these days, but I'm pretty sure No Reservations has the distinct aroma of a big poo omelet!

Give me a movie I haven't seen, like a RACHAEL RAY BIOPIC!!! It would be a timeless tale about a girl who can't cook so good, but whose dreams (powered by stoup, E.V.O.O., and tight fitting lycra-blend shirts) rocket her to the top of the world. In the last part of the movie, the "figure friendly" recipe pipeline runs dry, Oprah stops returning phone calls, and Rachael finds that the only job she can get is as Courtney Love's personal assistant. That would be a good movie.